Letter from a therapist
Hi. I am writing you this letter right now.
You can be very proud of yourself. The journey we’ve taken in these two or three years, in these few months, are priceless moments. I know that we are walking together. Sometimes I push and breathe down your neck. Sometimes calling back, protecting and reverently caring. Sometimes I stand and be silent beside you. Watching. Looking into your eyes. Hear your voice. We laugh and cry. We rejoice and we are sad.
We walk together, but you walk. This is your path. And you allow me to be so close that I can hear your breath. You allow me into your intimate fears and secret desires. You are learning how to build a relationship. Because in this dance you lead.
You come in and say, “Teach me to dance.” And we dance to the rhythm of your heart, to the music of your soul.
You have no idea what your trust means to me. And the most important indicator that you trust me is that you stay in touch. Always. Even when it’s difficult. Even when it’s unbearable. Even when you want to run away, push me away, devalue everything, get offended or hurt. You stay and let me be there for you. Even when in doubt. Even when you want to give it all up. You allow me to reflect you and your pain. And that’s on top of everything. Because we know that this is only a phase, only a stage. And you can’t cut it off-it has to be lived.
Thank you for being angry with me. You resent me. Rage. Thank you for living the palette of your emotions live. It enriches you. No, not at my expense. It is the result of your courage and freedom. I know that what you live with me, you carry into your life.
I really want this letter to reach you through time. I remember all our meetings. Your eyes. Your questions. Your tears. Your silence and confusion.
I may not know what day of the week it is, but I remember everything about your parents. I know your background. I remember what has left the greatest imprint on you. Your triumphs and triumphs. Your failures and your pain. The scars on your soul and the scratches on your heart.
I see you. And you allow yourself to be seen. This is a revolution on the scale of your universe. You are learning to see and hear yourself. Feeling.
You are a revolutionary. A rebel. A provocateur. You blow up inner walls. You no longer walk through a minefield blindfolded. You see where you can get blown up, and you don’t go there.
I know: even in the pauses when there are no meetings, our work goes on. I know that I live in your head. And you often think: this is what I’ll bring to the session. I know you will.
I want to give you the task of writing a letter to yourself.
Exercise. Letter to myself.
Part 1
Write a letter — to yourself in a year. This will be a time capsule that you will open in 12 months. Write down the goals you set for this period, what you hope for, what should come true, what you warn yourself against, what decisions you want to make and implement. Hide it so that you will remember it later and find it. This letter, free and uncensored, will be a tribute to you from the past.
Part 2
Practice introspection, your ability to rise above situations. Imagine a glass ceiling above you. And in any situation, give yourself 3 to 5 seconds to think: how else can you react? Place different models in the corners and observe.
1. What is my old pattern of behavior that is expected of me?
2. trickster: how do I respond with humor and sarcasm?
3. the Aggressor: how do I cynically insult and put my needs before everything else?
4. Harmonizer: how to smooth things over at my own expense?
5. Victim: how to withdraw into the field of self-sacrifice and submit to the situation?
6. Killer: how to destroy everything in one fell swoop without looking back at the damage?
7. Manipulator: how to quarrel with enemies and get out without loss?
8. Parent: how to teach and instruct others how they should live their lives?
9. Infantilizer: demanding and expecting others to know how you should.
10. Child: what if you just talk about your feelings and needs, tell them what you want?
11. Adult: what is the most appropriate reaction when you hear what your inner child is asking of you?
