The Many Faces of Narcissism

Fragments from the forthcoming book “Fragile People: A Secret Door to the World of Narcissists”.

Everyone knows who narcissists are.

Indeed, in the classic version, they are the proverbial narcissists, egoists with a grandiose notion of themselves. They expect everyone around them to continually express their admiration and recognition. These narcissists spend all their resources on confirming their own magnificence and importance. These individuals in their eyes above all and want to prove it all around, demanding attention and exclusive treatment. They are absorbed only in themselves, not wanting to notice anyone around. And the only form of interaction with people for them is exploitation. In other words, it doesn’t matter who you are or how you feel. If you can be of any use to a narcissist, he won’t fail to use you. Or you will remain outside his sphere of interest altogether. The only problem is that according to some reports, there are between 1 and 4 percent of narcissists in society. Not enough to seriously scare yourself about the dangers of interacting with them. But here’s where it gets interesting. Because the world really is full of narcissistic people.

But not the kind of people that the authors who denounce narcissism relentlessly tell you about. And not those who triumphantly wear the narcissistic crown of omnipotence, egoism, and splendor on their heads. In contrast to those who vividly display narcissistic pathology, we are now surrounded by other narcissists. They will not humiliate you and show you how wonderful they are and how much better you are. It’s exactly the opposite! Their narcissism is wounded, too. But instead of showing off, such narcissists have chosen a different strategy of adaptation. At first glance, these people have nothing to do with narcissism at all. However, they are. “Secret” narcissists. People who have an incredible fragility of self-esteem and a hollowness of self-image.

They camouflage and hide.

They try not to show their inferiority to anyone.
Their eternal companion is total dissatisfaction with themselves and low self-esteem.

They do not know how to be proud of themselves, and devalue everything good or worthy that they possess.

They forever claim to be the best version of themselves, but immediately fall into shame, inadequacy and insignificance.

They refuse to do anything at all, just so they don’t fail and face failure.

They fear close relationships, but loneliness frightens them as well.
Everything in their inner world is much more complicated than it seems at first glance.